I am sure that before my shot, I exercised too much, but not being allowed to even take a long walk is starting to drive me crazy. It’s Sunday. Jim has gone to play golf with my parents. I have little I need to get done, but I am so restless. My body wants to move, and I think the fact that I haven’t exercised in over two weeks now is making it difficult to calm my mind.
This is a new connection for me – where exercise is not about being fit and having the freedom to eat a little more indulgently – but more so about just feeling alive. Surprisingly, I am starting to believe I would be comfortable not returning to the same level of exercise as pre-shot. I see how I manage weight with a little more conscientiousness about food when I don’t do a hard-core workout. (And I realize that statement suggests I have not progressed as far as I'd like to yet.) Still, I can also say with complete certainty that I will want to be active in some way almost every day – that may mean walking on the beach or on a treadmill for thirty minutes vs taking a four-mile run – but I miss moving.
Anyhow, stuck sedentary for another twelve days, I am struggling with boredom. Given I have little on my plate today and have the house to myself for four-plus hours, I should savor the opportunity to read my book. Instead, I have researched how to connect to our Apple CarPlay wirelessly, figured out the requirements for international travel with Covid restrictions and spent at least a half-hour down a rabbit hole researching a new device a friend mentioned that measures stress and recovery on your body to optimize your fitness. The first two were at Jim’s request since he had golf on his agenda. Essentially, I’ve now managed to spend the two hours since he left just puttering around.
Too much time leads to too much contemplation. I woke up dreaming about whether I needed to plan meals for Christmas, and we haven’t even celebrated Thanksgiving. Over my first cup of coffee, I started thinking about whether I should be adding more philanthropic activities to my plate given I have so much available time for pleasure reading today. I wonder if I am feeling a bit driven to DO because I cannot be physically active, as if the mind and body are connected in some way where tiring our bodies makes us more able to mentally rest. Conversely, then, the inability to move makes it hard to settle the brain into leisure mode. That’s sort of what it feels like to me today.
Twelve more days and then I can start to move my body again. I am going to go sit outside now and try to read my book.